Sunday, April 24, 2011

Do we need Santa, The Easter Bunny and The Tooth Fairy?

For those of you that have children did you choose to make them believe in Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, tooth fairy etc or did you decided not to do so and why?

In this day and age of mass consumerism, young children are targeted very early on with what they should want and can't possibly live without and how does a strange red man or giant talking rabbit make that ok?

As a child I was petrified of Santa, he was a large, angry red man with an ugly mask that made bizarre noises that was meant to be laughter, I think he smelt vaguely of stale tobacco and wine, I cried!! I remember pushing madly away from his clutches as he gripped tighter on my by now petrified little body! I felt betrayed that my parents would make me do that AND they laughed and said I was silly! Ahhh hello!!! Scary man is SCARY!!

Waking up with my Easter chocolates on my bed also worried me, it meant I had been visited by a giant rabbit during the night!! What if he had mistaken me for a carrot?? What if he had rabies or Myxomawhatsit?? We’ve all seen Donnie Darko right?? I mean what kind of strange demonic power makes a rabbit that big?? What happens when it poops? I spent the day looking for fur and shit! I had a pet rabbit, it committed suicide by jumping off our 4 story balcony on the day I was going to take it to show and tell! I have never forgiven it! I still remember peering over the railing at the little red and white speck below! Why I asked, wasn’t it happy?? Didn’t it love me? I imagined this giant smelly rabbit looking at me as I slept with its large pink nose twitching and its long sharp teeth mere centimetres away from my sweet baby face! But wait there’s CHOCOLATE!! YAYAYAYAYAYAGIMMEEEEEEE!

I also seemed to figure it all out at a young age, but then again I don’t think my parents were big on keeping up the facade. I think they gathered rather early on that I wasn’t overly enthralled or impressed with the whole scene.

So why do we lie and deceive a child from the time they can walk? Most parents use it as a disciplinary tool starting sometimes months before the event with “if you don’t behave and are a good boy/girl Santa won’t bring you any presents!” Or “You won’t get any Easter eggs if you keep screaming like that now get up and move it missy!” WTF? I lived in fear that my normal behaviour as a child would incite anger from the “Red Bastard” or the “Demented Rabbit” I also started wondering about the fairness of it all when little Mary down the road got a friggen pony!! I knew she was the baddest most spoilt little bitch in my street that had broken one of my toys just the week before, and all I got was some colouring books and a puzzle!! How come poor Fritz only got an orange and he was so good it was pathetic?? Explain that ANGRY RED DUDE!!!

So I guess as someone without a kid and hoping that I may yet have one, I find myself wondering if I would make them believe in these things or not? Why did/do you? I get that kids need magic but surely there is plenty of other magic without the bizarre worship to the Altar of the credit card? Would I steal Santa and the beloved Bunny away from my kids?? I really don’t know! Do I want to be a part of the unfairness of mass consumerism where you are only as good as daddy’s pay cheque allows you to be? No I don’t! I ask myself is it right to teach kids that lies and deception and manipulation are ok to get what you want? And what about the BLACKMAIL people?? If you do this you will get that, if you are good you will get a bigger present! What about all the kids living below the poverty line?? They are good, they are just as deserving of the big angry Red Man and Giant Rabbit but, how do we explain that because you are poor those bastards don’t love you as much??


  1. Oh umm wow! Ok. So I guess I've forced my kids into believing in these things, but also at the same time, they have been taught the "true" meaning behind these celebrations as well. I was bought up as a Christian, although not a practicing one, I still do hold some of their beliefs strong, and feel it important for my kids to be given the oppurtunity to believe in it. And yes, I am 100% guilty of using Christmas, more so than easter as a manipulation tool. From about the age of 10 or 11, I feel xmas and easter loose alot of meaning for kids, it, as you pointed out, becomes a bit of a who's who, how much better off one family compares to the other. My childhood christmas's where always filled with alot of family and friends, great food, singing, dancing and celebrations that would stretch right through to the new year, house full of people camping in our backyard! It was brilliant! Something I remember and treasure to this day. It's something I hope to be able to achieve with my girls, not having them focus on the material side of things.
    It is really each to their own hon, I don't believe there to be a right or wrong way to do it.

  2. Well, I must say you had a different kind of Santa to me! Mine was jolly, fat and kindly. I did not detect any addictions such as alcohol or tobacco.

    My family never pushed the Easter Bunny line. We just didn't have him. We knew other kids believed in him and we used to think it rather odd. My parents would give us our Easter eggs on Easter Day, which is the correct etiquette belive it or not. I never remember Easter eggs being on sale so early in the piece either. Here's a random thought ... if the Easter Bunny delivers eggs for nicks why do shops need to sell them?

    In answer to your question about indoctrinating kids into this ... my children had Santa but they would have been aware at a fairly early age that it was a crock of shit. You don't have to be a rocket scientist I guess and kids are a lot more street savvy now than before. I myself was distressed to discover Santa was a fraud. I actually felt quite pissed off that I had been taken for a ride by my parents. I do not know how I justified the whole flying sleigh concept and a fat jolly man coming down the chimney, especially as we didn't have a chimney.

    If I had another child I would go through the Santa thing again, it is part and parcel of the sweet innocence of childhood and something that I would hate for any child to miss. I do feel that the way the news is broken to the child could be handled a bit better than mine was LOL, that's assuming the kid hadn't heard rumours from the little turds who delight in telling other kids the shocking truth "Santa isn't real, only babies believe in Santa. Nah, nahhnie nah nah!" You know the type! They grow into adults who are not dissimilar!

    In summary - in my view - Santa is a sweet childhood delight which is totally harmless and brings a lot of joy. Easter Bunny is an utter crock of crap and deserves to be dumped in the shit bin of history.



  3. Surprised to see that you are female, sounds much more like a male rant, with-which I wholeheartedly agree. Then looked at your taste in novels, music and realised that you must either be two people or a hermaphrodite. I mean Dony Darko and Love Actually?

    1. HMMMM LOL what can I say? I am a woman of unusual tastes?