Sunday, April 24, 2011

Do we need Santa, The Easter Bunny and The Tooth Fairy?


For those of you that have children did you choose to make them believe in Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, tooth fairy etc or did you decided not to do so and why?

In this day and age of mass consumerism, young children are targeted very early on with what they should want and can't possibly live without and how does a strange red man or giant talking rabbit make that ok?


As a child I was petrified of Santa, he was a large, angry red man with an ugly mask that made bizarre noises that was meant to be laughter, I think he smelt vaguely of stale tobacco and wine, I cried!! I remember pushing madly away from his clutches as he gripped tighter on my by now petrified little body! I felt betrayed that my parents would make me do that AND they laughed and said I was silly! Ahhh hello!!! Scary man is SCARY!!

Waking up with my Easter chocolates on my bed also worried me, it meant I had been visited by a giant rabbit during the night!! What if he had mistaken me for a carrot?? What if he had rabies or Myxomawhatsit?? We’ve all seen Donnie Darko right?? I mean what kind of strange demonic power makes a rabbit that big?? What happens when it poops? I spent the day looking for fur and shit! I had a pet rabbit, it committed suicide by jumping off our 4 story balcony on the day I was going to take it to show and tell! I have never forgiven it! I still remember peering over the railing at the little red and white speck below! Why I asked, wasn’t it happy?? Didn’t it love me? I imagined this giant smelly rabbit looking at me as I slept with its large pink nose twitching and its long sharp teeth mere centimetres away from my sweet baby face! But wait there’s CHOCOLATE!! YAYAYAYAYAYAGIMMEEEEEEE!

I also seemed to figure it all out at a young age, but then again I don’t think my parents were big on keeping up the facade. I think they gathered rather early on that I wasn’t overly enthralled or impressed with the whole scene.

So why do we lie and deceive a child from the time they can walk? Most parents use it as a disciplinary tool starting sometimes months before the event with “if you don’t behave and are a good boy/girl Santa won’t bring you any presents!” Or “You won’t get any Easter eggs if you keep screaming like that now get up and move it missy!” WTF? I lived in fear that my normal behaviour as a child would incite anger from the “Red Bastard” or the “Demented Rabbit” I also started wondering about the fairness of it all when little Mary down the road got a friggen pony!! I knew she was the baddest most spoilt little bitch in my street that had broken one of my toys just the week before, and all I got was some colouring books and a puzzle!! How come poor Fritz only got an orange and he was so good it was pathetic?? Explain that ANGRY RED DUDE!!!

So I guess as someone without a kid and hoping that I may yet have one, I find myself wondering if I would make them believe in these things or not? Why did/do you? I get that kids need magic but surely there is plenty of other magic without the bizarre worship to the Altar of the credit card? Would I steal Santa and the beloved Bunny away from my kids?? I really don’t know! Do I want to be a part of the unfairness of mass consumerism where you are only as good as daddy’s pay cheque allows you to be? No I don’t! I ask myself is it right to teach kids that lies and deception and manipulation are ok to get what you want? And what about the BLACKMAIL people?? If you do this you will get that, if you are good you will get a bigger present! What about all the kids living below the poverty line?? They are good, they are just as deserving of the big angry Red Man and Giant Rabbit but, how do we explain that because you are poor those bastards don’t love you as much??